What It Takes To Move On From A Divorce

The Huffington Post reports about a woman who took control of her life in order to move on from a painful divorce.  Marti Heard, who is covered in the article, discusses what it took for her to get over a divorce from her first husband whom she married in her early twenties.

The biggest part of recovering from a divorce is grace and realizing what is not meant for you. Then you let go of those things.

Granted, all of this won’t happen over night. If only! It will be a long, hard, arduous journey. In fact, I believe there are three stages to a divorce. Stage One: You will be a hot emotional mess. Crying, weight changes, depression. The works. One day I called my father for the millionth time crying to the point that he could not even understand what I was saying. With bold dad confidence, he told me, “That’s enough. Quit crying. Go put your makeup on and pull yourself together before your kids get home. No more whining, Marti!” And I did just that. And he was completely right: The mourning stage can’t go on forever. You have to put an end to it at some point.

Then there’s Stage Two: You realize you have this newfound freedom you haven’t experienced in forever. You go experience life for all it’s worth— and you just may overdo it. Let’s just say this newfound freedom will provide you with plenty of courage. (If not, wine will.)

Stage Three: You realize being a freedom-lovin’ hot mess is not cute and then you get your act together. All this said, donʼt even think about being in a relationship until you have completed all three stages. You will not be a useful, truly loving half of a solid relationship until you can deal with healing from divorce.